I've found that having a business coach is sorta like having a therapist. GLORY! At least that's how I run my business and how my coach treats me. I know that the first thing a person needs to operate a successful business is the right mindset, accompanied by the idea. And most coaches understand this sentiment also. Just having a business idea won't do. It will get you started but it won't keep you as you move along.
At some point, every single thing we experience through life will show up again. It's called trauma and learned behaviors. It won't matter how long ago or how small those things are. Eventually, they become a part of our DNA. The facts are it will revisit you and shake a very weak foundation, if you haven't healed, acknowledged or even addressed it.
The other day I was speaking with Candace, providing our weekly updates on clients and we got on the topic of My Divorce and how at the time I felt the earth shake, even though I knew this was the best thing for me and my kids. Divorce feels like failure. Some of you may be able to relate to this and some may not. That's the beauty of us all living different lives.
And while divorce feels like a failure, it does not mean it is a failure. But at the end of that conversation, I came to the realization that had I not experienced that detachment from that situation I may have never ended up doing and becoming what I am now. Same for business and leaving corporate.
Fearless. Worthy. Hustler. Warrior. Survivor. Resilient. Transparent.
Get to the business aspect... ok, ok!
In business, there will be some things you will need to let go of in order to thrive. Things that are holding you back, things that happened that feel like they are shattering the very core of who you are and what you stand for. And in those moments it will be important to remember that loss is not a bad thing. On the other side of that is the re-birth, new visions, and opportunities for growth.
My divorce pushed me positively and negatively if I'm honest with you. It made me a hustler but it also made me address my worth. Something I wasn't sure of. Something I'd never given much thought to until I got into the business. I remember charging the minimum for my services because I didn't believe I was worth that much. I didn't have the confidence I had now. I didn't trust myself.
It also made me want to prove a point to the very person I had nothing to prove to. I declared proudly that I would take care of my kids no matter what. I would prove to him that I was worth something. I would prove to his family that I wasn't ruined. I wasn't going to depend on them to help. I worked so hard trying to prove something, that I lost sight of what my true assignment was. Validation is what started me down a path of performance and standards that had absolutely nothing to do with me. I didn't have anything to prove to anyone but myself.
Detaching from your comfort zone will make you shutter and retreat. When you decide to leave corporate it will feel like the ugliest divorce. You will spend time re-living the sad moments, happy moments, and different moments. You will spend your time in isolation because you don't think anyone understands you. You will have people questioning your sanity... because from the outside looking in everything seemed perfect. The rose-colored glasses will be snatched off and you will see the grey in your vision. And at that moment you will want to go back to what you think made you happy but in reality, it only made you safe.
Starting over won't feel good because it's scary AF. But I'm here to tell you that with the work it will be beneficial, it will be eye-opening, it will help you become the person you've always wanted to become. It took me years to understand that my divorce gave me something out of life that I never knew could happen. It gave me purpose. It gave me a chance to address what needed to be addressed. It gave me a spirit of reckless faith. You see from that point on I just started to believe that I could do whatever I put my mind to. I could be who I wanted. I could have what I wanted. It gave me empathy, it taught me compassion. It taught me how to constantly stay on top of my inner thoughts. It taught me to keep my worth at the forefront. It taught me that comfort zones are wastelands. It taught me that I could trust myself.
And this is not a blog to encourage anyone to go get a divorce LOL this is simply a blog about the power of letting go of things that don't serve us. You stepping out on faith is going to teach you so much about yourself, it's crazy. I pray that you find that reckless spirit and become to CEO of your life. All it takes is one step.
You will start to understand that putting yourself first is the best thing for you.
You will start to see how fierce you are.
You will start to see that newness of loss.
You will start to understand that validation doesn't serve you.
You will start to feel that spirit, stirring telling you that this test was for your testimony.
You will see YOU!
If you'd like to share your experience with letting go and how it shaped you on our blog, send us an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org